Jokes Ltd

Golf Ball

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A golfer hits his ball into a yard next to the golf course. As he goes to get it a man in the yard says, “Don’t you see the sign? It says, ‘Private property – Stay Out! ‘“ The golfer says, “I’m sorry I did not see it. That is my ball there. May I … Read more

Hideous Stop

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A wife and husband went on a backpacking holiday. On the first night the husband said, “I think there’s a monster under my bed…” “Grow up, “she replied. “No, really, “he continued. “It’s hideous…” “Stop pissing about, “the wife snapped. “I knew it was a mistake letting you have the top bunk. “ This joke … Read more

Minutes Later Geoff

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Geoff walked by the bathroom, where his wife was covering her face in creams and lotions. “What are you doing?” he asked her sarcastically. “I’m trying to make myself beautiful. “his wife said. 15 minutes later, Geoff walked by again and she was wiping it all off… “Are you giving up already?” he asked. This … Read more

Lazy Bastard

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“My father never did a day’s work in his life, “said Paddy. “He must have been a lazy bastard, “replied Nick. “No, he was a Night Watchman,’ said Paddy. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Nasty Soup-Burn

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“Doctor! There’s a fly in the ointment!” “Yes, I know, he’s recovering from a nasty soup-burn. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Breasts Tight Ass

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A guy goes to see a doctor and after a series of tests the doctor comes in and says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. “ “What’s the bad news?” asks the patient. “The bad news is that unfortunately, you’ve only got 3 months to live. “ The patient is shocked, “Oh … Read more

Friend Snaps

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Two dragons walk into a bar. The first one says, “It sure is hot in here. “ His friend snaps back, “Shut your mouth!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Fork Ready

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A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. “I’m sorry, sir, but I am blind and can’t read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I’ll smell it and order … Read more

Road Crew

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A man worked for a road crew. One day he woke up ill with a touch of laryngitis, but being a dedicated employee, he went to work. The boss felt rather sorry for the worker and didn’t want him to do any physical labor, as they were repairing a part of the freeway. He says, … Read more