John and his wife went to the dog park. There was an elderly lady trying to coax her resistant toy poodle to come to her. Being one that doesn’t mind helping John picked up the little critter and passed it over to her. She scowled at him and scurried off. John mentioned to his wife … Read more
A man jumps from a plane and as he descends pulls his parachute only nothing happens so he pulls his reserve and still no luck so as he contemplates flapping his arms like a bird when he spies a man coming up towards him. Calling out to the man “Do you know anything about parachutes?” … Read more
At a circus there’s a calamity and two lions escape. They manage to grab hold of a clown and start devouring him. One lion turns to the other and asks “Does this taste funny to you?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A car mechanic was using an open bowl of gasoline to wash some parts for the transmission he was repairing. Distracted by a customer, the mechanic returned to his work to find his dog, a cocker spaniel drinking the gasoline from the bowl. He yelled at the dog, who took off running. In fact, the … Read more
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, “Sit with my wife. You two have a lot … Read more
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes, “replies the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?” … Read more
A guy goes in to join the circus. The ringmaster looks at him and says, “This isn’t like the old days, kid. We don’t just take anyone off the street anymore. You have to have some kind of unique talent. “ The guy pleads with him, “Just give me a minute and I’ll show you … Read more
A husband and wife had a human cannonball act in the circus. One day the wife ran off with the lion tamer. The husband was extremely dejected. The clown asked him what he was planning to do. The husband answered, “This is a disaster. I don’t know where I’m going to find another woman of … Read more
A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologize to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, “I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?” “I don’t know, “replies the old … Read more
Each evening bird lover William stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl – and one night, an owl finally called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversation. “ Just as he thought he was on the verge … Read more