Stan is seconds away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law barge in holding their newborn baby. “Stop! You can’t do this!” exclaims the brother. “And why not?” asks Stan. “Don’t you want to have a beautiful baby someday? Like my wife and I have here?” Stan says nothing. The brother grows impatient, … Read more
A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother, “Mom, what’s sex?” His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject. When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had … Read more
One day, Ahmed’s wife called him a pedophile. In response, Ahmed asked his wife, “So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died, “she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years. “ “Amazing, “said the counselor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward. “ This joke … Read more
Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other’s husband was doing. “Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch. “ “Oh … Read more
A 96 year old man goes in the insurance and says to the insurer: “Hello my son. I want to have a life insurance policy. “ Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: “Sorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?” “You know my son, I will travel with … Read more
An elderly spinster called the lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life, I … Read more
Twin sisters in a Nursing Home were turning 100 years old. The local newspaper sends a photographer to take pictures… One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin, … Read more
Joe and Tom were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who sank it. Joe spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could and was out of touch all that day and … Read more
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out, since they can’t see each other signing. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. “Honey, why don’t we agree on some … Read more