General Jokes

Inches Tall

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Once upon a time, there lived a king who was only 15 inches tall. He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Weighed Pounds Paul

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Paul was describing a 25 pound sea bass he’d caught recently after fighting it for three hours. Bill interrupted the story saying, “I saw the picture you took of that fish. You’re lucky if it even weighed 12 pounds. “ Paul replied, “Well … a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three … Read more

Underway Preparation Exercise

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A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship underway. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind. … Read more

Far Away Hello

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Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man’s head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. “Hello?” she cried, but no answer. “Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer. Now the female brain … Read more

Difficulty None

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“I heard you have been to Spain recently. Knowing you don’t speak Spanish very well, did you face any difficulty?” “None at all, however those who listened to me sure did. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Unwanted Photographs

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A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note … Read more

Jerk Murphy

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Murphy was standing in front of the city hall when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Murphy got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, “I stopped it!” “I know, you idiot!” … Read more

Long Without Water

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Two guys are standing on a rooftop. The first one looked down and asked, “Hey, if I jump down from here, how long do you think it would take me to reach the ground?” Second one then also looked down and said, “Well, it’s pretty high up here. I think it would take at least … Read more

Dry Cleaner

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A girl walks into a dry cleaner. She drops off her dress and turns to leave. The woman behind the counter says, “Come again!”. She says, “No it was toothpaste this time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.