Two men were adrift in an open boat, and it looked bad for them. Finally one of them, frightened, began to pray. “O Lord, “he prayed, “I’ve broken most of thy commandments. I’ve been a hard drinker, but if my life is spared now I’ll promise never again… “ “Wait a minute, Jack, “said his … Read more
A foreign correspondent did a feature story in a country in the Middle East. She noted women walked five paces behind their husbands. Years later she returned to the same country in the Middle East and observed that women still walked behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the old regime, the women now seem … Read more
Genie: “OK, I’m ready for your third wish. “ Harrold: “Third? What about the first two?” Genie: “Well, this is a little unusual, but after your first wish, you screamed like a madman and said “I wish I’d never made that wish!” So that counted as your second wish, and I erased your memory of … Read more
A company is interviewing applicants for an accountancy position, and the three finalists have been chosen. The first one is called in, and asked, “What is two plus two?” She answers, “Four, “and is asked to leave. The second finalist was called in, and asked the same question, “What is two plus two?” He also … Read more
“I’m suffering dreadfully from insomnia. I’ve tried all sorts of remedies, but I can find nothing that will send me to sleep. “ “Why don’t you try talking to yourself?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Phil’s neighbor just got arrested for growing marijuana. Phil then realized that his property line isn’t where he thought it was. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A tourist stopped at a country gas station. While his car was being serviced, he noticed an old-timer basking in the sun with a piece of rope in his hand. The tourist walked up to the old-timer and asked, “What do you have there?” “That’s a weather gauge, sonny, “the old-timer replied. “How can you … Read more
“Believe it or not, but when I see red I’m happy. “ “How’s that?” “I sell sunburn remedy. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
This guy loved living in Staten Island, but he didn’t like the ferry. If he missed a ferry late at night, he had to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So, when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn’t … Read more
“Are you going to be using your lawn mower Saturday?” “Yes, I will be. “ “Good… so can I borrow your car then?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.