General Jokes

Insurance Company Paid

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A lawyer and an accountant were having cocktails in the Caribbean. The lawyer said “I’m here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. “ “That’s quite a coincidence”, said the accountant, “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed … Read more

Rescue Workers

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At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. “Let me at him, I can help … Read more

Hairiest Armpits

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This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, “Bartender, I would like a drink. “ There’s an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, “Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink. “ She … Read more

Silk Robe

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A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven. Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, “OK, we’ll … Read more

Tranquilizers Calmed

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The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, “You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly. “ On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?” “Yes”, the boy’s mother answered. “And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked. … Read more

Answered Cabernet Sauvignon

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A drunk sitting at a bar observes a very snobby woman participating in a wine tasting contest. She was very good at identifying the wine. At the first taste she says: “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1998” and all the people were amazed. At the 2nd try she answered “Cabernet Sauvignon, 1953” and they were once again amazed. … Read more

Well Yes

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A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket – a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, “I bet you’re single, aren’t you?” “Well yes, I am, “the woman replied. “How did you know?” “Because you’re very ugly, … Read more

Hunt Deer

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A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, “So I hear you hunt deer. “ The man looked away and turned red. “What’s wrong?” asked the woman. “I’m not used to someone calling me dear on the first date, “ This joke is included in … Read more