An old guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady. He asked a nearby trainer, “What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?” The trainer looked him up and down and said, “I would try the ATM in the lobby. This joke is included in the … Read more
An elderly man went to his friend’s house to have a little chit chat. Then, he told his friend, “I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith. “ His friend then asked, “So what’s the name of the other leg?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ”How do you really feel? I mean, you’re 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?” ”Honestly, I feel like a newborn baby. I’ve got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself. ” This … Read more
“I thought you were going to marry Eddie? You said it was love at first sight. “ “It was – it was the second and third sights that put me off him. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
When Fred went to his barber he expressed concern about going bald. Fred: “Now that I’m getting older I’m worried about my hair falling out. “ Barber: “Men’s hair doesn’t ever fall out. “ Fred: “I’ve seen many balding older men. “ Barber: “When men get older their hair follicles get weak making the hair … Read more
An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, ”I was going to park there! ” … Read more
After an 87-year-old woman finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, “There, now you look ten years younger!” The unimpressed lady replied, “Who wants to look 77 years old?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An inmate at the local detention center was sitting in his cell playing solitaire. Another inmate was watching. Finally the kibitzer spoke up, “Wait a minute. I just caught you cheating yourself. “ “Shhh! Don’t tell anybody but for years I’ve been cheating at solitaire. “ “You don’t say! Did you ever catch yourself cheating?” … Read more
John picked up a hitchhiker the other night and hitchhiker asked him, “How did you know I was not a serial killer?” John replied, “The chances of two serial killers in the same car are astronomical. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.