A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. “How are we faring?” asks the king. “Sire, “replies the knight, “I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west. “ “What?!” shrieks the king. “I don’t have … Read more
A woman drove a minivan filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. “Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and yelled back, “What makes you think these are all … Read more
A man walked into a record store and asked the assistant, “Have you got anything by The Doors?” “Yes, “she said, “a bucket and a fire extinguisher. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The owner of a drugstore walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall with an odd look on his face. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here at 7 A. M. to get something for his cough. … Read more
The minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter. “ She said to him, “I think about it many times a day. “ “Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise. “ “It’s not a matter of wisdom, “she replied. “It’s … Read more
A guy tells his psychiatrist, “I always have this weird dream at night. I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge. “ The psychiatrist muses, “Interesting. “But tell me … Read more
As the herd of cows were traveling, one of them was falling behind. She shouted out to the others that she could not run any faster. She shouted, “Slow down, my calves are killing me!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Three seniors are out for a stroll. One of them remarks, “It’s windy. “ Another replies, “No way. It’s Thursday. “ The last one says, “Me too. Let’s have a soda. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Peter was talking to his younger neighbor “There are advantages to being over the age of seventy… First, there is nothing left to learn the hard way. Second, things you buy now won’t wear out. Third, you can eat supper at 4 pm. Fourth, you can live without sex but not your glasses. Fifth, your … Read more