During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people. He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, “There are two of you here who have not heard a word I’ve said. “ That quieted them down. When the service was over, he went to greet people at … Read more
Mary, Anna, and Tess died and went to heaven. God warned them, “Do whatever you want, but don’t step on the pink clouds. “ One day, Mary decided to go for a walk. When she came back, there was an ugly man next to her. Anna and Tess asked, “Where’d you get that ugly man?” … Read more
Olivia, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she … Read more
A priest and a pastor are standing by the side of a road holding up a sign that reads “The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!” A passing driver yells, “You guys are nuts!” and speeds past them. From around the curve, they hear screeching tires, then a big splash. The … Read more
One Sunday a pastor found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the single word, “Fool. “ Quietly and with becoming seriousness he shared the letter with the congregation and announced, “I have known many instances of a person writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is … Read more
Salesman: “Madam, do you want this powder?” Housewife: “For what?” Salesman: “For ants. “ Housewife: “No. If I give them powder today, they will ask for lipstick tomorrow. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy. “ “That was a very misguided thing to do, my son, “said the priest patiently. “It wasn’t misguided at all, … Read more
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!” This joke is included in … Read more
Comic Sans, Helvetica, and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out!” shouts the barman. “We don’t serve your type here!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote ‘Revelation 3:20’ on the back of it and stuck it in the door. When … Read more