A ventriloquist is working in a small rural town and during his show a local stands up and yells, “Hey You! On Stage! You’ve been making smart-aleck remarks about us small-town folk being stupid all night long! We’re not all stupid, ya know!” “Relax” said the ventriloquist, “They’re just jokes!” “I’m not talking to you, … Read more
All the merry men and Maid Marion, gathered around Robin Hood’s deathbed, waiting for the inevitable end. Manfully, heroically, Robin struggled up and said “Friar Tuck, bring me my longbow. I will fire an arrow out the window and wherever it lands, that is where you will bury me. “ Deeply moved, they placed a … Read more
One day a man found an odd-looking lamp and rubbed it. From inside came a genie that told him he would get three wishes, but whatever he wishes for, his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets. “What would you like for your first wish?” asked the genie. “I want one billion dollars, “replies the … Read more
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible. With fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between pages. “Momma, look … Read more
A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after an evening of partying ashore. As they climbed the gangway, the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above, he shouted, “Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting!” The following morning the captain was … Read more
Girlfriend: Wanna see a magic trick? Boyfriend: Sure babe! Girlfriend: BAM! You’re single. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five shots. The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them up on the bar. The man downs them all quickly. He finishes the last one and calls … Read more
The parents of a difficult boy were discussing what to give him for a birthday present. The mother said, “Let’s buy him a bicycle. “ “Well, “said the father, “maybe – but do you think it will improve his behavior?” “Probably not, “said the mother, “but it will spread it over a wider area. “ … Read more
One day a city bus driver picked up a woman that was carrying a paper bag full of oranges. There were no empty seats so she had to hang on by a strap in the aisle. After traveling a few blocks the driver had to make a sudden stop. This caused the woman to almost … Read more
The villager on his first trip to the city was waiting at a bus stop one morning. After some hesitation he asked a woman. “Which bus should I take to Houston?” “Bus Number 177, “the woman replied, and caught the next bus. The same evening, the woman got off a bus at the same stop … Read more