Stanley was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked Stanley why he kept painting less each day? He replied, “I just can’t do any … Read more
A woman drove a minivan filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. “Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man. She rolled down her window and yelled back, “What makes you think these are all … Read more
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern … Read more
A man walked into a record store and asked the assistant, “Have you got anything by The Doors?” “Yes, “she said, “a bucket and a fire extinguisher. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man climbs up to the top of a mountain. He shouts “I love you!” and waits for the echo. The echo comes replies, “I have a boyfriend!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: “Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?” “No. “ “So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t sure the man was dead, were you?” “Well, the man’s brain was in a … Read more
The minister told an eighty-year-old woman that, at her age, she should be giving some thought to what he called “the hereafter. “ She said to him, “I think about it many times a day. “ “Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise. “ “It’s not a matter of wisdom, “she replied. “It’s … Read more
A guy tells his psychiatrist, “I always have this weird dream at night. I am locked in a room with a door on which there is a sign. I try to push it with all my strength, but no matter how hard I try, it won’t budge. “ The psychiatrist muses, “Interesting. “But tell me … Read more
A girl walks into a supermarket and asks the clerk, “Can I have a turkey for my grandma?” the clerk responds, “Sorry. We don’t do exchanges. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.