Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: “What are you doing dear?” Husband: “Swatting flies – I got three males and two females” Wife: “How on earth do you know which gender they were?” Husband: “Easy – three were on the beer, and the … Read more
A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little too much and growls at him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an … Read more
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says “What does a duck say Tommy?” He says”Quack quack Mummy. “ His Mum says “Very good Tommy,that’s right. “ She says “What does a dog say?” He says “Woof … Read more
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it. … Read more
An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a marine joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs, and I’m a marine. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2” tall, weighs … Read more
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog. “ “Oh man, “the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on … Read more
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” … Read more
The King and Queen decided to get pets, and for this reason the King issued a decree: “Handsome reward for finest Royal pets. “ The Queen immediately falls in love with a white, kitten with long hair bred in a faraway land. Some time after payment, the kitten disappears and the distraught Queen sends the … Read more
This blonde cop stops a blonde driver and asks for identification. The blonde driver looks all around in her purse and can’t find her license. “I must have left it at home, officer. “ “Well, do you have any kind of identification on you?” asks the cop. The blonde takes out a pocket mirror and … Read more
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broadsided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, “How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that … Read more