Jokes

Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.

Executioner Shouts Ready

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Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One’s a brunette, one’s a redhead, and one’s a blonde. Two guards bring the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, “Ready … Aim … “ Suddenly the brunette yells, “earthquake! !” Everyone is … Read more

Honesty Modesty

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A man was praying to god for money and fame. Another one comes and sneers at him, “I always pray for honesty, modesty and other noble qualities in life “. The man says “Very well mister, one always asks for the things they don’t have!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more

Real Hair Color

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A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and asks, “If I guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?” The farmer nodded. She continued. “127” The farmer is surprised. “How … Read more

Tight Rein

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One day some soldiers from a nearby army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. “Say, boy, “called out one of the soldiers. “You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren’t you?” “Sure am, “said the boy. “If I didn’t he would probably … Read more

Flies Away

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A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. “Alright, what can you do?”, the manager asks. “I can do great bird impressions”, the man replies. “Pssh, a lot of people can do that”. “Oh well”, the man says and flies away. This joke is … Read more

Deer Tracks

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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks. The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, “I think they could be bird tracks. “ The second blonde went to look and said, “No, I think these are deer tracks. “ They stepped aside and the third … Read more

Jersey Cow

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“Your Honor, it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow!” “Was it a Jersey cow?” “I don’t know, I didn’t see her license plate!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Cat’s Collar

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A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her … Read more