A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker. “I win!” said Johnson. Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating! ! !” “How can you tell?” Phillips asked. “Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. “Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them, “instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. “But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear, “she protested. “Then, “said the attorney, “just whisper them to the judge. “ This joke is … Read more
A man and a woman went to court disputing over custody of their child. The Judge asked the woman to rise and argue her case. “I went through all the pain of undergoing labor and I see no reason why the child’s custody should not be handed to me”, she pleaded. The man replied, “Your … Read more
A man walks into a friend and sees that his friend’s car is a total-loss and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood. He asks his friend, “What’s happened to your car?” “Well, “the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer. “ “OK, “says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the … Read more
A lawyer sent an overdue bill to a client. A note was attached that stated: “This bill is one year old. “ By return mail the lawyer had his bill back. To it was attached a card which read: “Happy Birthday. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
Two Scientists were working late discussing ideas about behavior modification studies. “We’ve started something new at my lab, “said the first scientist. “For some of our more dangerous experiments, we’re now using lawyers”. “Lawyers?” asks the second scientist. “Why aren’t you using rats?” “Well you know how it is, “the first scientist replies. “You can … Read more
A man had been crossing a street when a car slammed into him. The pedestrian sued the motorist, whose lawyer made the following statement at the end of the trial. “Your honor, my client was not at fault. He has been driving a car for thirty years, and has never had an accident, nor gotten … Read more
Three friends, a Rabbi, a Hindu holy man and a lawyer, had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer. The farmer said, “There might be a problem; you see, I only have room for two to sleep, so one of you must sleep in the barn. “ “No … Read more
A lawyer walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere – your place or my place, … Read more
An elderly, wealthy woman was on the beach and boring fellow beachcombers as she bragged on and on about her two remarkable grandchildren. Unable to stand it any longer, a fellow sunbather interrupted her. “Tell me, how old are your grandsons?” The grandmother gave a grateful smile and replied, “The doctor is four and the … Read more