Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We BET we can tell exactly how old you are. “ The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools. “ … Read more
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. He then calls the girl and gives her $50 and says “Little girl, take this money and buy yourself some panties as it … Read more
Doctor: “Liquor is a slow poison for you. “ Patient: “It’s all-right. I’m not in a hurry. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00a.m. she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. … Read more
Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club. “We’re supposed to wear something that matches our husband’s hair, so I’m wearing black, “said Mrs. Smith. “Oh my, “said Mrs. Jones, “I’d better not go. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a serious step. Are you prepared for it?” “I think so, “the man replied. “My wife has made all the appetizers herself and we have a caterer coming in to provide plenty of sandwiches and cakes for all of our … Read more
An elderly patient needs a heart transplant and discusses his options with his doctor. The doctor says, “We have three possible donors. One is a young, healthy athlete. The second is a middle aged businessman who never drank or smoked, and the third is an attorney who just died after practicing law for 30 years. … Read more
A motorist gets caught in an automated speed trap that photographs his car. He later receives a ticket in the mail for $40 with a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sends the police department a photograph of $40. A few days later, he gets a letter from the police department with a … Read more
The Judge said to the defendant. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again. “ “Your Honor, “the criminal said, “that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. “Now don’t let me ever see your face again, “said the … Read more