Doctor, “the man said to his ophthalmologist, “I was looking in the mirror this morning, and I notice that one of my eyes is different from the other!” “Oh”? Replied the doctor “Which one?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, “What in the world was that?” He replies, “Touchdown. I’m winning, seven nothing. “ She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, “What was that?” She replies, “Touchdown, tie score. “ He wants to get her back, … Read more
Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have’tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. … Read more
A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other, “Nine. “ Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had … Read more
A man and his wife, both recently retired, went into town to buy some milk and bread. They were only in the store for about five minutes, but when they came out, they noticed a police officer writing a parking ticket, clearly about to place it on their car. “Come on, man, how about giving … Read more
Two friends meet each other on the street. “Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill. “Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. “I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. “It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a … Read more
One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems okay but after a … Read more
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seatmate. “I’ve got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?” “I should let you know first that I am a policeman. “ “That’s OK. I’ll tell it to you really slowly!” This joke is included … Read more
A man is moaning to his mate that he never has any luck with pulling women. His mate tells him he has a chat up line that never fails, no matter how good looking the women are he always ends up in bed with them. “Great, “says his mate, “what is it! ?” “Just walk … Read more