A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, “I’m Jesus Christ. “ The first priest says, “No, son, I’m Jesus Christ. “ So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, “No, son, I’m Jesus Christ. “ The drunk says, … Read more
Customer: “Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop?” Waiter: “Can’t you tell the difference by taste?” Customer: “No, I can’t. “ Waiter: “Then does it really matter?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, “Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?” The man gets really indignant and says, “Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed. … Read more
Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. “We didn’t find any money, but we got something to eat, “he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning’s newspaper headline reads, “World’s … Read more
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. “Cold floors, “he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in … Read more
A nun woke up one morning feeling great, she got out of bed and decided to go to the kitchen for some breakfast. On her way over there she runs into sister Jane and she says, “Hi sister Jane, “by which sister Jane says, “I see you got off on the wrong side of the … Read more
There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out. “You’re Drunk!” exclaimed the police officer. “Thank God for that!” said the drunk, “I thought the steering had gone. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”, asks the cop. “Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!” Edward replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?”. “It … Read more
A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the “Restaurant am Fluss” because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they … Read more
A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” she asked suspiciously. “I’m a juggler, “the man replied. “I use those in my act.’ “Well, show me, “the officer demanded. So he got out the … Read more