Auntie I’ve Eaten

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes … Read more

Bean Soup Either

The bean soup Mike ordered was mostly water. He decided to tell the waitress. “This soup is awful, “Sam said. “I know, “she said. “I don’t like bean soup either. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Hello Tomatoe

A tomato walks into work and a potato says: “Hello, Tomatoe… “ He responds: “My name is not Tomatoe, it’s just Tomato. How would you like it if I called you “Potatoe”? “Well, that would just be weird because my name is Rick!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more

Ball Drag Fred

There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. Bill’s wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired. His wife asked, “What’s the … Read more

Health Inspector

The City Health inspector walks into a new restaurant unannounced and takes a seat where he can see the kitchen. While he is sitting there, an order goes back for a pizza. The chef appears and the health inspector nearly chokes when he sees that he is not wearing a shirt. As if the health … Read more

Captain’s Nephew

On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, “Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight. “ The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, “Oh God, no, not again. “ A new slave next … Read more

Cooler Without Panties

Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day. They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon. They notice she isn’t wearing any panties. “Is it cooler without panties?” they ask. She says, “I don’t know if it’s cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon. “ … Read more

God’s Sake Stop

Dentist to the patient: “For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet. “ Patient: “Yes, I know. But you’re standing on my foot. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Golden Spoon Identical

Two thieves each sneak into a rich man’s party. During dinner the thieves marveled at how even the cutlery was made of gold, and both decided they would try to steal some. The first thief quietly slipped a golden spoon into his pocket, unaware that the second thief had witnessed this crime. After dinner, the … Read more