A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: “After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn’t, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there’ll be trucks waiting to take you back to the … Read more
First Cannibal: “Have you seen the dentist?” Second Cannibal: “Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A magician comes to a seniors’ home for entertainment in the afternoon: “Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?” Seniors, enthusiastically, “Yeaaaah!” Magician, winking, “But not for looooong… !” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man returns home from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve … Read more
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family. “I just can’t stand my mother-in-law, “sighs one. “That’s quite understandable, “nods the other one, “Why don’t you just have the potatoes with the gravy?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A lawyer and an accountant were having cocktails in the Caribbean. The lawyer said “I’m here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. “ “That’s quite a coincidence”, said the accountant, “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed … Read more
At a men’s clothing store, a customer asked the shop assistant to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out. “Ma’am, “he explained, “any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the … Read more
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have an electric car”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One particular Christmas season a long time ago Santa was ready for his Christmas run… but there were problems. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus … Read more