A man wasn’t feeling well so he went to the doctor for a check up. He did the tests and waited. After a while, the doctor came in with the results. “Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You really don’t have much time to live. . “ “Doctor. . ! How much … Read more
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: “What happened here, man?” “Pff, my mother-in-law died, “he said. “Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, … Read more
Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asked him how he was feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the word the doctor used in surgery, “he answered. “What did he say?, “asked the nurse. “Oops!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A very old woman realizes that she’s seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart. Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of … Read more
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then the three men are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison … Read more
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. “Jack, I’ve got to confess — I’ve been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I’m the father of your daughter, and I’ve been stealing from the firm for a decade. “ “Relax, “says Jack, “and don’t think about it. … Read more
While examining the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. “I’m sorry, Mr. Schwartz, “says the mortician, “But I can’t send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity. “ The mortician removes the penis, … Read more
A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and hugged her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her. “ “You … Read more
A blondie calls the airline office in Dallas and asks, “How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?” The clerk says to her, “Just a second. “ The woman says “Thank you”, and hangs up. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.