A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses. “ The woman answered, “Well, I have contacts. “ The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, “I’m a salesman. What about you?” “I’m a hit man for the mob, “replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first … Read more
A police chief, a fire chief, and a city attorney were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them that … Read more
A man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, “Can I park here?” “No, “says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?” “No, ma’am, “explained the officer, “it’s your foot. “ This joke … Read more
When the bar was about to get closed, a very drunk guy got up to go home. He stumbles and falls a couple of times and finally manages to get out of the door. As he gathers himself, he sees a nun passing by. He stumbles over to her and starts punching her in the … Read more
Late one Friday night a policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening. “Aye, so I have’tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. … Read more
A priest was driving down the road one day when getting stopped by a cop. The cop smelled alcohol on the priest’s breath and saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He said to the priest, “Father, have you been drinking?” The priest replied, “Only water, officer. “ The cop then … Read more
A drunk staggers in a Catholic church late one night and collapses in the confessional. Next morning he’s awoken by the sound of the priest entering the cubicle next to him. The priest addresses him through the grille. “Good morning, my son. What can I do for you?” “You got here just in time, “replies … Read more
The Judge said to the defendant. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again. “ “Your Honor, “the criminal said, “that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.