A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, “I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop. “ The bartender said, “There is no way you can do that. Sure, … Read more
The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, “Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?” Puzzled, the engineer responds that in all calculations, … Read more
Morty and Ian are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Ian, a banker, says to Morty, “Listen, Morty, I should probably tell you, I don’t swim so well. “ Morty, who worked as a lifeguard when he was younger, begins tugging and pulling on Ian, helping him float towards shore. … Read more
A jeweler was on his way to work when he saw a sign that said “Watch for children”… He thought to himself, “That sounds like a fair trade. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company over 30 years, he retired. Several years later the company contacted him with a problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, … Read more
Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors, the guard said, “Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don’t you guys take a look at … Read more
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. “In English, “he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative. “ A voice from the back of the … Read more
Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border. They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business. By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets. Jack told John to go up and … Read more
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Bobby, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red. After seeing this, the … Read more
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so … Read more