A woman is chatting with her friends when she points at a man in the street, ‘That’s my next-door neighbor. He’s an alcoholic!’ One of her friends asks, ‘How do you know that?’ The woman replies, ‘Yesterday he was at the bar drinking next to me all night. ‘ This joke is included in the … Read more
A monkey was smoking a joint in a tree in the jungle with his little lizard buddy. The lizard says, “Ooh wee! This is some good shit! My mouth is dry as hell. I’m gonna run down to the pond and get a drink. “ The lizard climbs down the tree, scurries over to the … Read more
A soccer coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said: “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you … Read more
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, “Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?” The boyfriend says, “Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A duck walked into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner said; “No, I don’t sell duck food here”. The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner became very angry and said; … Read more
A family’s driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son’s innocence, the mother turns around and says, “Don’t worry, dear. That was just an insect. “ “Wow, “the boy replies. “I’m surprised it could get off the ground with a … Read more
An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a marine joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs, and I’m a marine. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2” tall, weighs … Read more
A man walks into a bar. “Ouch. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A Penguin is driving down the street when suddenly his car breaks down in the hot desert. He calls a towing service and takes it to the nearest shop in some small town he’s never been in. Mechanic tells him it’s going to be awhile. The penguin says, “No problem. I’ll just go across the … Read more
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, … Read more