A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, “Today we have lobster tales for 1 dollar only. “ He said, “I’ll take a dozen!” She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, “Are you ready … Read more
Earl and Bob, both obsessed with baseball, never missed their favorite team’s game. They made a promise to each other, whoever died first, and went to heaven, would come back to earth and tell the other if there was baseball in heaven. One day, Earl died. Bob waited for him to come back. Finally, Earl … Read more
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my little brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A charming blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a very dumb guy. Suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls out for the last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and … Read more
A blonde guy was sitting in a bar when he spotted a very pretty young woman. He advances towards her when the bartender says to him, “Don’t waste your time on that one. She’s a lesbian. “ The blonde guy goes over to her anyway and says, “So which part of Lesbia are you from?” … Read more
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look, “she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, “he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty … Read more
Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster. “There is most certainly a difference, “said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune, but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise … Read more
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand, “answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties … Read more
Waiter: And how did you find your steak, sir? Customer: Well, I just pushed aside a bean and there it was! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said, “Chopsticks are provided only on request. “ “But, “the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks. “ “True, … Read more