Pauly’s family is at dinner, the 10-year-old daughter isn’t eating much, and she just keeps her head down. After a few minutes, she says, “I have something to tell you. “ Everyone gets silent and they all listen. “I am no longer the virgin I used to be. “And she begins to cry. A long … Read more
Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live together. One night the 96-year-0ld draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. “Was I getting in the tub or out?” she yells. The 94-year-old hollers back, “I don’t know, I’ll come up to see. “She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts, “Was … Read more
“Excuse me, this coffee tastes like mud. “ Waiter- “Yes sir, it’s fresh ground. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, “I’m gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!” Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, “Wow! , it worked!” Puzzled, his … Read more
A tennis ball walks into a bar. The barman says, “Have you been served?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. “I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total, “says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, “I am a fisherman, my Dad’s … Read more
Finding her young son scooping ice cream in the kitchen, a mother raged, “Dinner is going to be ready soon. Put that ice cream away and go and play. “ “But mum” wailed the child, “There’s no one to play with. “ “OK, “said the mother wearily, “I’ll play with you. What do you want … Read more
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says, “Smoking a joint; come up and have some if you like. “ So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and … Read more
A man walks into a bar and says “I just got back from the battered women’s shelter, and boy are my arms tired. “ Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the fine craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter’s pantry, regardless … Read more
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, “A crocodile, a crocodile!” The woman woke up and asked, “Where, where?” A man cried again, “O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more