A lawyer walks into a bar. He sees a beautiful, well-dressed woman sitting on a bar stool. He walks up to her and says, “Hi there, how’s it going tonight?” She turns to him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, “I’ll screw anybody at any time, anywhere – your place or my place, … Read more
A produce farmer walks into a bar carrying a box of some of his freshly harvested vegetables and orders a beer. “Keep an eye on that farmer, “the bartender tells a waitress. “You won’t want to miss it when he starts dancing. He’s incredible. ““How will I know when he’s going to dance?” the waitress … Read more
A mother shark is teaching her young how to eat humans. “First, you go straight at them and then you circle them. You go straight at them again and circle them again. Finally, you go straight at them and then you eat them” “But, mom, why can’t I just eat them the first time around?” … Read more
A homeless guy knocked on a house’s door and after a while a man opened it. “Excuse me, do you have any spare food?” “Yeah. Do you mind if it’s yesterday’s dinner?”-asked the homeowner. “Not at all. “-said the homeless guy “Come back tomorrow then. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
Jim was in a bad mood, and anyone who got in his way was going to regret it. Jim walked into his favorite restaurant and plopped himself down on a chair. “Get me a steak well done with mashed potatoes. “ Three minutes later when his order came, Jim screamed “DIDN’T YOU HEAR ME SAY … Read more
A man rubbed a bottle and a genie came out, “OK the genie said what’s your wish” The man said “I want all ladies to love me”, and he turned into a bar of chocolate. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Restaurant patron: “Waiter, I’d like a bottle of wine. “ Waiter: “What year, sir?” Patron: “Well, I’d like it right now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One night as a bartender is closing up his bar, he hears a knock at the back door. When he opens the door, there stands a bum who asks, “Can I have a toothpick?” The bartender gives him a toothpick and continues cleaning up his bar. Five minutes later, he hears another knock at the … Read more
A man orders a pint of beer, notices it tastes sour and complains to the barman. ‘What are you moaning about?’ says the barman. ‘You’ve only got a pint of that rubbish, I’ve got three barrels full.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. “Sorry I can’t serve you, “states the barman. “Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. “You’re under 18, “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more