Three men walk into a bar. The barman tells them, “If you can sit in my basement for a day, I’ll give you free beer forever. “ The first man walks out after five minutes and says, “It’s impossible, you got a swarm of flies in there. “ So the second man tries his luck, … Read more
“Mom, did you see my pills? They write LSD on the box outside!” “Screw the pills, didn’t you see the dragons in the kitchen?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free”. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottish man says, “. . yeah. That’s quite … Read more
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the wrong face?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Three old guys are out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” Second one says, “No, it’s Thursday!” Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks: “Hey do you know, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or any of that sh*t?” Offended, the Asian man replies: “What do you think that just because I’m Asian I know martial arts?” The man replies: … Read more
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, “One burger!” Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. … Read more
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they’d better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on … Read more
A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other, “Nine. “ Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had … Read more
A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the … Read more