An old man who loves to fish, was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, “Pick me up. “ He looked around and couldn’t see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, “Pick me up. “ He looked in the water and … Read more
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of … Read more
A man limps into a bar with a cane and an alligator. The bartender stops him and says “Hold on a second here – you can’t bring that animal in here, they aren’t allowed!” So the man says, “But my gator here does a really cool trick… “ The bartender says “Well then, let’s see!” … Read more
Two hunters from Moscow charter a small plane to fly them to Siberia to go bear hunting. On landing, the pilot says, “Remember, this plane can only fly with two hunters, one pilot, and one bear. “ The hunters go out and return with two bears. So the pilot says, “I told you one bear!” … Read more
A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him. After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires. When the smoke clears, the bear is gone. A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots … Read more
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: “I’ve been here five years. I’m not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows. “ Second Bull: “I’ve been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I’m keeping all my cows. “ Third Bull: “I’ve … Read more
Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty, … Read more
Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you? Kids: Meat! Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon! Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you? Kid: Homework! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man has a racehorse, never won a race. Man in disgust says, “Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning. “ The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track. He kicks the horse and asks, “Why are … Read more
An employee comes into her manager’s office to take a day off from work. The manager replies, “So you want a day off. Let’s take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days … Read more