Kerry the tomcat was scampering all over the neighborhood – down alleys, up fire escapes, into cellars. A disturbed neighbor knocked on the owner’s door and said, “Your cat is rushing about like mad. ““I know, “the man conceded. “Kerry’s just been neutered, and he’s running around canceling engagements. “ This joke is included in … Read more
The interviewer examined the job application then turned to the prospective employee. “I see you have put ‘ASAP’ down for the date you are available to start, meaning as soon as possible, of course. However, I see you’ve put ‘AMAP’ down for the required salary. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen that before, what does … Read more
Some race horses stay in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. “In the last 16 races, I’ve won 8 of them!” Another horse breaks in, “Well in the last 27 races, I’ve won 20! !” “Oh that’s good, but in the last 36 races, I’ve won 29!” says another, … Read more
A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late. “Where were you? I was worried sick. “ “It was such a nice day, I decided to walk. “ This joke is included … Read more
A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop. The panda bear asks, “What do you want?” The bartender replies, … Read more
One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog. He goes over to the man and asks, “Does your dog bite?” The old man replies “No never”. When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. … Read more
A guy walks into a bar and asks, “Who owns that Doberman tied up outside?” A man replies, “That’s my dog”. “Well, “says the first man, “I think my Chihuahua killed him. “ “Your Chihuahua killed my Doberman?How’d he do that???” asks the man at the bar. “I’m not quite sure. I think he got … Read more
Two men were walking down the street when they saw a dog licking himself. One man said “I wish I could do that. “ The other man said “You should probably just pet him first. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions. The reply came back shortly: “Begin vacation as of yesterday. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen. “ “Nah, he’s not so smart, “the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three … Read more