A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer … Read more
Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can’t get them back in their cages. Finally he says, “Quick, call my mother in law!” “Your mother in law? Why??” “We need someone who speaks … Read more
A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, “Bill, your house burnt down!” So he runs outside, but then he thinks, “I don’t have a house, “so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of … Read more
Little Johnny’s first grade class was playing “Name That Animal. “The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, “What animal is this?” “A cat!” said Suzy. “Good job. Now, what’s this animal?” “A dog!” said Ricky. “Good. Now what animal is this?” she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The … Read more
Government planned to implement Sex Education in schools. School authority wanted to send a teacher called Lucy for a special training course in Sex Education. Lucy: “No Sir. . ! I don’t want to take part in that course. “ Principal:”No. . ! But why . . ?!” Lucy:”Somebody told me yesterday. . The Final … Read more
“Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn’t breathe?” “You’re not fooling me dad, a chair!” “Not this time, your dog died. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two Irishmen are traveling to Australia and before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: “You watch them Aussie cab drivers. They’ll rob you blind. Don’t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle. “ At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. … Read more
A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk, “I’d like some Polish sausage. “ The clerk looks at him and says, “Are you Polish?” The guy, clearly offended, says, “Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was … Read more
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?” Mother: „No, you’ll be getting turkey, like every year!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two Scientists were working late discussing ideas about behavior modification studies. “We’ve started something new at my lab, “said the first scientist. “For some of our more dangerous experiments, we’re now using lawyers”. “Lawyers?” asks the second scientist. “Why aren’t you using rats?” “Well you know how it is, “the first scientist replies. “You can … Read more