pets

Pigs Eat

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There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would … Read more

Christmas Songs Until

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Jim: “At Christmas time, there’s nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. “ Pete: “Maybe that’s why you’re no longer a fireman. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more

North Slope Matured

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At a wine merchant’s warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunk with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink. The old drunk tried it and said, … Read more

Dorothy Goodness Gracious

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Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. ? I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer. “ Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my … Read more

Mailman Laughs

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One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys … Read more

Foot Screams

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An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain. “ Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the … Read more

Flat Tires Headlights

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A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. “ The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered … Read more

Stall Amy Explains

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Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says to Amy: “The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him where … Read more

Dog Poop

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Son comes home and yells: “Moooooooom! ! ! !” Mother shouts from the first floor: “If you want something, come up and tell me properly. I’m sick of your hollering. “ Son goes up and says: “Look, I stepped in dog poop. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more

Brown Paper Boots

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A man walks into the sheriff’s office… “I want to become a deputy!” “Good, I want you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man, a wanted poster. The poster reads: ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots. ‘ “What’s he wanted for?” … Read more