pets
Christmas Songs Until
Jim: “At Christmas time, there’s nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep. “ Pete: “Maybe that’s why you’re no longer a fireman. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
North Slope Matured
At a wine merchant’s warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunk with a ragged dirty look came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away. They gave him a glass to drink. The old drunk tried it and said, … Read more
Dorothy Goodness Gracious
Dorothy and Edna, two “senior” widows, are talking. Dorothy: “That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. ? I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer. “ Edna: “Well, I’ll tell you. He shows up at my … Read more
Mailman Laughs
One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys … Read more
Foot Screams
An extremely drunk man looking for a whorehouse stumbles into a Podiatrist’s office instead and weaves over to the receptionist. Without looking up, she waves him over to the examination bed and says, “Stick it through that curtain. “ Looking forward to something kinky, the drunk pulls out his penis and sticks it through the … Read more
Flat Tires Headlights
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, “I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. “ The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, “This guy out there just ordered … Read more
Stall Amy Explains
Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says to Amy: “The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow’s stall in the barn. You show him where … Read more
Brown Paper Boots
A man walks into the sheriff’s office… “I want to become a deputy!” “Good, I want you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man, a wanted poster. The poster reads: ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots. ‘ “What’s he wanted for?” … Read more