The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up, “he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample. “ The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? … Read more
A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next … Read more
Three construction workers are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The Italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says “Man, if I get pizza one more time I am going to jump off this building and fall to my death!” The chinese opens his lunch box to find rice and … Read more
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. “Mickey, “the judge says, “I’m sorry. I can’t grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me. “ “I didn’t say she was insane, “exclaims Mickey. “I said she was fucking Goofy. “ This joke is included in the Black … Read more
A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang. It was her husband, urgently warning her, “Honey, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on the M25. Please be careful!” “It’s not just one car!” said the blonde. “There’s freaking thousands of them!” This joke … Read more
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early. “Hey, girls, “says the brunette, “let’s go home early tomorrow. She’ll never know. “ So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, … Read more
A guy was married to a blonde, and each evening he came home with a new blonde joke. Once the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn’t dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals. That night when he got home he told his joke. She … Read more
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” … Read more
A honeymooning couple had purchased a talking parrot and taken it to their room, where much to the groom’s annoyance, the bird kept up a running commentary on their love making. Finally the groom threw a large towel over the cage and threatened to give the parrot to the zoo if he didn’t quit it. … Read more
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Wife: “What are you doing dear?” Husband: “Swatting flies – I got three males and two females” Wife: “How on earth do you know which gender they were?” Husband: “Easy – three were on the beer, and the … Read more