Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Pet Store
April 5, 2026
A woman walks into a pet store wanting to buy a pet for her husband, but she finds all the pets are so expensive. The woman says to the clerk at the counter, “I’m looking to buy a pet for my husband but I’m on a very short budget! . “ “No worries, “replies the
Drunk Last
April 5, 2026
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he
Away Aargh
April 5, 2026
A man is watching TV supping the fourth can from his six pack. “Don’t go”, he suddenly yells at the screen. “Do not enter that building. Turn around and walk away. Aargh, you stupid man. “ His wife calls from the kitchen, “What are you watching, honey?” “Our wedding video, “he bravely answers. This joke
Sorry Ma’am
April 5, 2026
A man is staying in a hotel. He walks up to the front desk and says, “Sorry ma’am, I forgot what room I’m in, can you help me?” The receptionist replies, “No problem, sir. This is the lobby. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Antique Pocket Watch
April 5, 2026
It was an entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: “I’m here to put you into a trance;I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience. “ The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. “I want you each to keep your
Honeymoon Suite – Young Couple
April 5, 2026
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, “here put these on. “ She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a