Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Inquired Claire

Inquired Claire

April 5, 2026

Claire, after retiring from a busy life in business, travels around the country visiting antique shops trying to find bargains. One day she goes to an antique shop, where she speaks to Victoria, the shop’s owner, “When I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a

Fortune Teller

Fortune Teller

April 5, 2026

A man visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future. The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: “You will not be rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on

Friend Again Approached

Friend Again Approached

April 5, 2026

All the farmers for a hundred miles around were attending the wedding of a young Australian couple. Waiting for things to get started, they were somewhat shocked to see the bride’s father storm up the aisle, jacket off, sleeves rolled up, and obviously very angry. “The wedding’s off, “he shouted, “Everybody bugger off!” Dismayed and

Thousand Times

Thousand Times

April 5, 2026

“Madam, your son just called me an ugly swine!” The mother apologizes shamefacedly, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him like a thousand times it is wrong to judge people just from how they look… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Wilma Yes February

Wilma Yes February

April 5, 2026

Sam: Hey, have you got a date for Valentine’s Day? Wilma: Yes, February 14. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Didn’t Attach

Didn’t Attach

April 5, 2026

When she got flowers from her husband on Valentine’s Day, Alice quickly opened the card. All it said was, “No. “ She called her husband and asked him what the note meant. “I didn’t attach any message. “, her husband said, “The florist asked if I had a message and I said, ‘No’. “ This

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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