Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Peter Answers

Peter Answers

April 5, 2026

Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married. “Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back. “ Six months pass and Peter returns. “Yes, we can do this

Red Light Area

Red Light Area

April 5, 2026

A husband and wife are having financial troubles. They agree she should walk the streets to pick up some extra cash. The husband drops his wife off in the red light area of town, and returns 6 hours later. She gets in the car and says, “Look, I made $40. 50 !” “What jerk gave

Dumb Bitch

Dumb Bitch

April 5, 2026

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?” “I don’t know, some dumb bitch asking if

Bird Fires Feet

Bird Fires Feet

April 5, 2026

Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say “Got it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Lucky Mine’s

Lucky Mine’s

April 5, 2026

Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy says proudly: “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Married Again Next

Married Again Next

April 5, 2026

An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: “So, I’m getting married again next week, doc!” “Oh, that’s wonderful! And how old is the bride?” “She’s 19. “ “That’s fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!” “Ah well, in case she dies, I’ll just have to

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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