Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

King’s Ministers

King’s Ministers

April 5, 2026

Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen. The queen was so gorgeous that the king’s ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her. One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom. Before

Florist Shag Flowers

Florist Shag Flowers

April 5, 2026

A man goes into a florist and says, “I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend”. “Certainly sir”, she responds, “and what in particular are you after”? After some thought, the man answers, “A shag”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Bloke Cried

Bloke Cried

April 5, 2026

A tourist arrived in Australia, hired a car and set off for the outback. On his way he saw a bloke having sex with a sheep. Deeply horrified, he pulled up at the nearest pub and ordered a straight Scotch. Just as he was about to throw it back, he saw a bloke with one

Student Well

Student Well

April 5, 2026

Nigel, a college student, is talking to a friend. “I think my room-mate is queer. “he said. “How do you know that?” asks the student. “Well,’ replies Nigel. ‘Every time I kiss him goodnight he shuts his eyes. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Pounds Paddy

Pounds Paddy

April 5, 2026

Zoo keeper says to Paddy, “The gorilla is on heat and we need someone to have sex with it. Would you consider shagging it for 500 pounds?”. Paddy replies, “I will on 3 conditions: First, I’m not going to kiss it. Second – my family must never know. The third one – I’ll need a

Please Repeat

Please Repeat

April 5, 2026

Paul just told his wife that he had sex with another woman. The wife said, “Can you please repeat that for me?” Paul said, “Sure, I’m seeing her again tomorrow night. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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