Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Expiry Date
April 5, 2026
A wife to her husband: “Honey, what are you doing?” “I’m reading our marriage certificate. “ “What for?” “I’m looking for the expiry date… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Defendant Upon Which
April 5, 2026
“So let me get this straight, “the prosecutor says to the defendant, “you came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man. “ “That’s correct, “says the defendant. “Upon which, “continues the prosecutor, “you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing her. “ “That’s correct, “says the
Leaned Wish Wishing
April 5, 2026
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!” This joke is included in
We’re Bastards Yep
April 5, 2026
A man and woman were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor: “Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad. “Gushed son number one… “Sorry I’m running late, I had an emergency, you know how it is, didn’t have time to get you both a present”. “Nothing
Butcher Hotdogs
April 5, 2026
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. “Give me a couple of steaks, “he says. “We’re out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken, “says the butcher. “Hotdogs and chicken?!” yells the hunter. “How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and
Short Amount
April 5, 2026
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. “That’s such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn’t there anything I can do?” pleaded the patient. “Marry a lawyer, “the doctor advised. “It will be the longest six months of your
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a