Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Slow Painful Death
April 5, 2026
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death. “ He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?” This joke is included in the Black Book
Shouldn’t Wear
April 5, 2026
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit. “And why not, darling?”, the father asked. You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. “ This joke is included in
Door Again Later
April 5, 2026
A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door, opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, “Do you have a Vagina?” She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it’s the same man
Which Johnny
April 5, 2026
Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?” The Teacher says, “Of course not Johnny, “ To which Johnny replies, “Then I have definitely shit my pants then… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Voice Answered
April 5, 2026
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: “Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you. “ The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the crosswalk. The voice shouted, “Stop! If you take one more step, a
Student Gandhi
April 5, 2026
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a