Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Website Rejected
April 5, 2026
A guy sent out an application for an online dating website to meet the ladies. The website rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly. The question was, “What do you like most in a woman?” The man replied, “My dick. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes.
Drink Machine
April 5, 2026
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, “Well I carried this child around
Where Lawyers Come From – Hippie Gets
April 5, 2026
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says
Face Reddened
April 5, 2026
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor. “Pretty good, “the man said, to the
Machigatta Ana Concerned
April 5, 2026
A businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker. The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: “Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!” He can’t quite remember what the word means, but he’s sure he’s pleased the hooker to the best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game
Bark Mum Lucky
April 5, 2026
A little boy asks his Mum “why am I black and you are white ?” “Don’t even ask, “she replies “when I think back to that party… you are very lucky that you do not bark!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a