Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Peter Smiles
April 5, 2026
In a terrible car accident, 3 nuns die at the same time. They all appear in front of the gates of Heaven to meet Saint Peter. When they arrive, Peter informs them that those who lived a life of the cloth must answer some basic questions about theology before they are permitted to enter Heaven.
Side Dentist Listen
April 5, 2026
Monica is at the dentist. Half of her mouth is locked due to anesthesia, the dentist is intensively working. Monica’s mobile phone starts ringing. Ignoring it four times, the dentist finally answers the phone pissed: “What’s up?” “What’s up?”, – some man asks. Dentist:”Who are you?” “I’m Monica’s husband”says the guy on the other side.
Well Whatever
April 5, 2026
Mom was very upset when she found a bondage S&M magazine in her son’s room. She showed it to her husband when he got home. He handed it back to her without a word. She asked him, “Well, what do we do about this?” “Well, whatever you do, don’t spank him. “ This joke is
Sorry M’dear
April 5, 2026
Gravely ill, a man was examined by a doctor while his wife stood by. After the examination the physician motioned for her to meet him in the hallway. “Your husband is very sick, “the doctor said. “but, you can do three things to ensure his survival: First, fix him to eat three healthy meals a
Positions Himself
April 5, 2026
A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can’t stand it anymore. So he decides to try and have sex
Wrong Ben Shouts
April 5, 2026
Ben asks his new girlfriend for a hand job. “I’ve never done that” she says, “What do I do ?” “Well” replies Ben, “Do you remember when you were a kid and you’d shake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it … That’s what you do. “ She nods, so he pulls his
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a