Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Teacher Answered Mary

Teacher Answered Mary

April 5, 2026

Little Johnny came home after school: “Daddy, I have a bad grade in English language. “ “Why?” asked his father. “Well, the teacher asked us the following question: “Mary entered the forest with John and came out of the forest with Mike. What is Mary?” “How come what Mary is? A whore, of course, “said

Passenger Seat

Passenger Seat

April 5, 2026

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. “I’ll bet you’re back there to get

Blue Jeans

Blue Jeans

April 5, 2026

“Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?” “It’s a girl. She’s my daughter. “ “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father. “ “I’m not. I’m her mother. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of

Marvelous Instrument Designed

Marvelous Instrument Designed

April 5, 2026

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?” “̈”Of course child. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive women’s electric hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll

Brown-Haired Kid

Brown-Haired Kid

April 5, 2026

Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours. “ The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours. “ “That’s what my father says. “ This joke is included in

Teacher Exclaimed

Teacher Exclaimed

April 5, 2026

The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, “My daddy fell in a well last week. “ “Good Lord!” the teacher exclaimed. “Is he Ok?” “He must be, “said Little Johnny. “He stopped calling

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Giorgio Rushes

Giorgio Rushes

April 5, 2026

Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something

Bites Yes

Bites Yes

April 5, 2026

“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of

Trained Parrot

Trained Parrot

April 5, 2026

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a

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