Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Beautiful Banquet
April 5, 2026
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it. “ “Very good, Suzie,
Woman’s Nightstand
April 5, 2026
After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. “Is this your husband?” he nervously asks. “No, silly, “she replies, snuggling up to him. “Your boyfriend, then?” he continues. “No, not at all, “she says, nibbling away at
Vaseline Handy
April 5, 2026
A guy buys his first motorcycle. The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to rub on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man’s girlfriend invites him to dinner at her parents’ house. Before they go in, she explains their family tradition that whoever
Mother’s Pouch Maybe
April 5, 2026
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and runs over an opossum. Knowing that mother opossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decided to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down
Moles Baby Mole
April 5, 2026
Papa mole,momma mole, and a baby mole lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell sausage!” Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell pancakes!” Baby mole tried to stick his head outside
Message Woof
April 5, 2026
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘You know, we charge per ten words, so if you want you could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog. This joke is included
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a