Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Ant Wakes
April 5, 2026
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. “Shit!” says the ant. “One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order
Stud Rooster
April 5, 2026
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, “Ok old fart, time for you to retire. “ The old rooster replies, “Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Look what it has
Cowboy Remains Silent
April 5, 2026
Three cowboys sit around a campfire bragging about their adventures. The first says, “I gotta be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men. I wrestled that sumbitch to the ground with my bare hands. “ The second cowboy laughs, “That’s nothing.
Sexy Redhead Johnny
April 5, 2026
Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, “I wish that was a sexy brunette. “ George echoed, “I wish it was a sexy redhead. “ Johnny sighed, “I wish it was dark… “
Scissors Inside 2
April 5, 2026
After surgery, the doctor said to the patient, “I am sorry, but I forgot a pair of scissors inside you. I need to… “ The patient quickly responded, “Oh don’t bother, doctor! If it is because of that, just tell me how much it cost and I will pay you back. “ This joke is
Spoons Therefore
April 5, 2026
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, “We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement. “ Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters’ flies. “The string
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a