Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Body’s Blood
April 5, 2026
Doctor: “Yes, what is it I can do for you?” Blond: “Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go
Friend Mike Jeff
April 5, 2026
Jeff and Mike are in a car accident and both die. Upon Jeff’s arrival at the Pearly Gates, he is met by St. Peter. “Where is my friend Mike?” Jeff asked. St. Peter replies, “Well, Mike was not as fortunate as you. He went in the other direction instead of getting into Heaven. “ Jeff
Typewriter Period Missing
April 5, 2026
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. “Doc, I’m afraid my typewriter is pregnant. “ The doctor asks, “Why in the world would you think that?” She says, “Because it’s started missing its period. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Farther California
April 5, 2026
Two blondes are sitting on a bench at the park. One says to the other, “Hey, which is farther, California or the moon?” The other blonde says, “Well, duh! Can you see California?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Happy Birthday
April 5, 2026
This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card. She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards – something unusual. The clerk points her to a new card just in that day -”Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry. “ The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take
Else Yells
April 5, 2026
A blonde’s house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, “Help me! My house is on fire! What should I do?!” Someone else yells, “Call 911!” The blonde yells back, “What’s the number?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a