Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Truck Driver
April 5, 2026
One day while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not
Mechanic Might
April 5, 2026
A blonde meets up with a friend as she’s picking up her car from the mechanic. “Everything ok with your car now?” “Yes, thank goodness, “the blonde replies. “Weren’t you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?” “Yeah, but he didn’t. I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was
Seventh Avenue Let
April 5, 2026
After leaving the racetrack Bill bumped into his old friend Peter on the bus. “Say, “Peter said, “How’s it going?” “Going? You want to hear one of the most amazing things that ever happened? Tell me, what’s today’s date?” “July seventh. “ “Right. The seventh day of the seventh month. I go to the track
Game Warden
April 5, 2026
Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, “Excuse me, ladies, I’d like to see your fishing licenses. “ “We don’t have any, “replied the first blonde. “Well, if you’re
How Do You Spell Paint? – Wanted Repaint
April 5, 2026
There was a woman who wanted to repaint her house, so she called the contractor and set an appointment to meet with him. When the contractor came to her house they did a walk-through and he asked her what colors she would like. They came to the living room and she told him that she
Commit Suicide
April 5, 2026
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. “How did this happen?” the doctor asked. “Well I was trying to commit suicide, “the blonde replied. “Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?” “No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a