Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Which Read Purebred
April 5, 2026
A woman saw an ad in the local newspaper which read: “Purebred Police Dog $35. “ Thinking that to be a great bargain, she called and ordered the dog to be delivered. The next day a van arrived at her home and delivered the mangiest-looking mongrel she had ever seen. In a rage, she telephoned
Wolf Grimaces Even
April 5, 2026
Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, “My, what big ears you have!” The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, “My, what big eyes you have!” The wolf grimaces even
Saint Bernard
April 5, 2026
Joseph took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor, “he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail. “ The vet stepped back, “Joseph, why should I do such a terrible thing?” “Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think
Next Stall
April 5, 2026
A man was traveling north to Dallas. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, “So how ya doing?” The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides
Half-A-Mile Away
April 5, 2026
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman’s head. “Yech!” says the woman. “Get some toilet paper. “ “What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Butcher Dance Festival
April 5, 2026
A young man has spent five years traveling throughout the world making a documentary on native dances. He is nearing the end of his project and winds up in Australia in Alice Springs. He begins to talk to an Aborigine, who asks the researcher if he ever saw the “Butcher Dance. “ “Butcher Dance? What’s
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a