Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Caller Well
April 5, 2026
Caller: Is this Mr. or Mrs. Wall? A Man: I’m sorry there are no Walls here. Caller: Well, if there aren’t any walls there, how does the roof stay up? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Need Plastic Surgery
April 5, 2026
“Wait for me babe, I’m just finishing my make-up. “ “You don’t need make-up, Mary. “ “Oh, Jamie…. really? That is so sweet of you…” “You need plastic surgery. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Shore Morty
April 5, 2026
Morty and Ian are out one afternoon on a lake when their boat starts sinking. Ian, a banker, says to Morty, “Listen, Morty, I should probably tell you, I don’t swim so well. “ Morty, who worked as a lifeguard when he was younger, begins tugging and pulling on Ian, helping him float towards shore.
Sorry Sweetheart
April 5, 2026
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, “I’m so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this… “ “Don’t worry Steve, it’s not your fault. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Began Once Upon
April 5, 2026
A gentleman enters a restaurant and asks the waitress what was on special. She replied, “Today we have lobster tales for 1 dollar only. “ He said, “I’ll take a dozen!” She told him since it was a special he would have to pay in advance which he did. Then she said, “Are you ready
Quick Email
April 5, 2026
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in California. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a