Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Rancher Throws Down
April 5, 2026
DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. . He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs. “ The rancher says, “Okay , but do not go in that field over there, “as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes
Starter Pistol
April 5, 2026
A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, “When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself. “ That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two
Leopard Halts
April 5, 2026
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, “Oh, oh!” Noticing some bones on the
Rolled Down Backwards
April 5, 2026
Two guys on a double bike were pedaling up a hill. It took forever to get to the top. When they finally got to the top the first guy said in a pant, “Whew, that was so hard. “ The second replied, “Yeah, good thing I was pushing the brakes the whole time or we
Someday You’ll Thank
April 5, 2026
The boss had listened in sympathetic silence as Theodor went through the reasons why he needed, and felt he deserved, a raise. Then, with a compassionate smile, the CEO patted the younger man on the shoulder. “Yes, Teo, “he said kindly, “I know you can’t get married on the salary I’m paying you… and someday
Evening’s Newspaper Carried
April 5, 2026
A fisherman accidentally left his day’s catch under the seat of a bus. The next evening’s newspaper carried an ad: “If the person who left a bucket of fish on the No. 47 bus would care to come to the garage, he can have the bus. “ This joke is included in the Black Book
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a