Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
Browse Categories
View All Categories-
(181)
-
(1)
-
(69)
-
(356)
-
(748)
-
(1)
-
(95)
-
(836)
-
(1)
-
(15)
Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Late John
April 5, 2026
Teacher: Why are you late, John? John: Because of the sign down the road. Teacher: What does sign have to do with you being late? John: The sign said ‘School Ahead, Go Slow! ‘ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Balance Falls
April 5, 2026
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. “Here is the situation, “she said. “A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can’t swim, and
Opinions Expressed
April 5, 2026
On the first day of school, Peter handed his new teacher a note from his mother. The teacher unsealed the note, read it, looked at Peter with a frown, and placed the note inside a desk drawer. “So what did she write?” Peter asked. “It’s a disclaimer, “the teacher said. “A what?” “It says, ‘
Half Sisters
April 5, 2026
“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the school secretary on the first day of registration. “He’s a magician, “said the new boy. “How exciting. What’s his best trick?” “He saws people in half. “ “How impressive! Now, do you have any brothers or sisters?” “Yep… one half brother and two half sisters. “ This joke is
Electron Molecules Positive
April 5, 2026
Two molecules are walking down the street and one starts looking around. The other asks, “What’s wrong?” “I have lost my electron!” “Are you sure?” “I’m positive!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Computer Mary
April 5, 2026
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a