Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Eat Fatty Foods
April 5, 2026
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. “I couldn’t help noticing how happy you look, “she said. “What’s your secret for a long happy life?” “I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, “he said. “I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty
Wider Area
April 5, 2026
The parents of a difficult boy were discussing what to give him for a birthday present. The mother said, “Let’s buy him a bicycle. “ “Well, “said the father, “maybe – but do you think it will improve his behavior?” “Probably not, “said the mother, “but it will spread it over a wider area. “
Manager Approved
April 5, 2026
A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he’ll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said
Paper Airplane Carol
April 5, 2026
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again. “ “Well, uh, yes, it is, “replied Carol “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane. “ “Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do, “said the teacher, “but
Deck Bob
April 5, 2026
Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe’s place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When
Bus Driver Remarked
April 5, 2026
One day a city bus driver picked up a woman that was carrying a paper bag full of oranges. There were no empty seats so she had to hang on by a strap in the aisle. After traveling a few blocks the driver had to make a sudden stop. This caused the woman to almost
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a