Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Exquisite Blue Suit
April 5, 2026
A man who’d just died is delivered to a local mortuary and he’s wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The mortician asks the deceased’s wife how she would like the body dressed, pointing out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow, however, says that she
Bottomless Mug
April 5, 2026
A man finds a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie emerges. The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The man thinks for a moment and says, “First, give me a bottomless mug of beer. “ A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the
Hunters Safety Course
April 5, 2026
There were two hunters who had never hunted before, so they took a hunters safety course. In this course it was stressed that if you ever got lost in the woods, firing three shots in the air was the universal signal that you needed help. The very first day of hunting the two hunters became
I’ve Quit
April 5, 2026
“Can I have a cigarette?” Jill asked. “I thought you quit smoking, “Mary said “I’m in the process of quitting, “Jill said. “Right now I am in the middle of phase one. “ “What’s phase one?” Mary asked. “I’ve quit buying, “Jill replied. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Mick Slips
April 5, 2026
Irish Saw mill Accident… Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local saw mill. One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital. Next day, Paddy goes to
Company Refused
April 5, 2026
A woman was getting swamped with calls from strangers. A billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number. “I’ve had mine for twenty years, “she pleaded. “Couldn’t you change yours?” The company refused, so she said, “Fine. From
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Giorgio Rushes
April 5, 2026
Giorgo and his beautiful girl-friend Isabella rush in to see the vicar: “We want to get married. Here are all our papers, and these two people are our witnesses. Can you do a quick service?” The vicar is amused. He marries the two young people, pockets his fee and asks: “Isn’t there a proverb, something
Bites Yes
April 5, 2026
“Don’t be afraid of the dog, “said the lady to Little Johnny, who was delivering her groceries. “You know the old proverb, ‘A barking dog never bites?’“ “Yes, “replied Little Johnny. “You know the proverb. I know the proverb. But does your dog know the proverb?” This joke is included in the Black Book of
Trained Parrot
April 5, 2026
There was a little old lady who was nearly blind. She had three sons and they wanted to prove which one was the best son to her. So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this would surely be the best any of them could offer her. The second son bought her a